Cold and heartless

The_Jokers_Hand Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4260 Joined on: November 3, 2007

#1 Rate and CnC this poem i wrote Tell me what you think And if you like it or not When i was 16 i was cold and heartless Everthing i did was selfish and wicked I never cared for people for i was twisted, I killed a man for calling me out He was innocent but i went ahead and pulled it out, I made a man cry for what he had said. I bent over and put a gun right to his head. He began to plead and cry But in my eye he was nothing but a meaningless fly. He was nothing to me and was worthless in all respect. I was heartless with no intention of neglect So i pulled the trigger and ended his life. When i saw the glimmer in his eye when his cold body hit the floor My mind went crazy and my words were a slurr My homies look to me as the cold and heartless Im the one they can count on as the cold hearted monster I know no fear for i have none in mind I dream of the life i had taken away For it haunts me with no intention of going astray I hold this thought in mind everynight for i am still sixteen and had ended a life. His life was not mine for to take but i did anyway for my homies sake I was in no right mind for what i had done For i did it as a heartless son. My father would be mad if he found out for he has done the same without a doubt. I have no intentions of letting this thought out of my mind For it gives me a horrible fright im scared of no light. I am the one who is cold and heartless for i took a life and was a monster. I just wish this all was a lie that way i can sleep in peace and never cry. Im in my room every night crying myself to sleep for that innocent life. I need someone to confide in so i can let someone know. Tell them how i feel and give god the life i owe. What must i do to repent for my sin Am i in the right if i turn myself in? Tournaments won:27 Tag By Me

jun-ongbaksu Rank: member Forum Rank: Special Jounin Posts: 882 Joined on: May 26, 2008

#2 its either you've posted this before or someone else did because i've seen it before but yeah its alright for a second time around.... ~sigless simplicity~

nuckleheadninja Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1798 Joined on: April 24, 2008

#3 sounds more like a short story styled poem, but i've heard plenty on the same subject. Try to be more creative, write about things people usually look over and ignore. Smile :) Beauty ~Sharky my darling, you've left this space so desolate~</3 No I didn't!. Stop assuming things. ~Sharky

The_Jokers_Hand Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4260 Joined on: November 3, 2007

#4 Yes it is a second time posting this poem and i didn't think many people saw it before so i thought i'd give it another try. Tournaments won:27 Tag By Me

ItachiLover13 Rank: member Forum Rank: Genin Posts: 165 Joined on: January 10, 2010

#5 Its alright i guess. And dontp ost it when theres only 15 people online. ||Auggie+Bobba=Aubton||"New" Warning System|| ||Tag By Advent||Ava By -__yondaime__-||Useful Guides/Tools for Custom Characters||

wickcityshinobi Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1132 Joined on: February 7, 2008

#6 i like it very dark lol ...:::||21+||:::... ..........:::||Ninja squad||:::........... ||Anbu-Friend612- eviluchiha2690- n1nja-j3tai||

!!!ASH!!!, akatsuki-kyuubi, chickiet121, Cloud-Chan, demonron, desangele, Elegant_Akatsuki, FANTOM23, gibbsfire1, goldwolf04, hiphopara, hyuugaitachi007, jimmykidd, konohafenix, Lazy_Genius_13, madravsmaxata, Melsidd, NarutoFan_420, rocker_93, sahilss, sephirothblade, Shadow_Hokage, shrbeyblader, ThePwner_777, UCHIHA-SASUKE-10, UchihaItachi0324, x-hunter13, yassin123123, __miss*fail__.