Ari's free verse - Finale


 Topic: Ari's free verse - Finale
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 02:56
Shino*Girl
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#1
Titled finale for a reason.

~

This feeling of wanting to lose it all
just to earn some wings to fly
high above the turmoil of this world.
It continues to run throughout me,
everlasting, never missing a beat.
Petty things of a horrid past can’t be forgotten
but only used as a weapon to show
who’s superior and how closely tied
blind loyalty is to the sins of the one naïve beings trust.
Miraculous wonderings of why I cry,
just like the window of my mind
the feelings slipping through fragile cracks
are heading towards a final explosion.
Tell me who is one with pure heart
---untarnished by sorrow---let them be the one
to judge me for they believe they’re God.
Unneeded feelings surfacing upon the sky
of my dreams why now do you intend to
strike me with a wicked intent tearing away
my paradise that lies amongst the dark?
The sorrowful days of time before finally
escaped me but of course like the burden you are
once again you’re aiming to corrupt
those whom I love and those whom are dear.
Why won’t you just perish in this dying world
that needs rejuvenation? I await my answer
as I continue to yearn for wings to fly across and above
what needs to be done and forgotten.


~

Constructively comment and/or criticize on which may be very well the last poem I post, for awhile at least..

Hope you enjoyed.
  Posted on March 8, 2010 02:59
wickcityshinobi
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#2
failz:blink :push :oh :sick
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:01
kismie124
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#3
wickcityshinobi wrote:
failz:blink :push :oh :sick

This is a person who really fails

10.0

Nice job Ari*
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:01
munta0
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#4
this is cool 5/10
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:01
itachiforlyf
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#5
wickcityshinobi wrote:
failz:blink :push :oh :sick
that wasn't very nice. why would you say that? if you can say something fails, be ready to justify why.

anyway, it's great as always, and also just as depressing as always.
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:02
Shino*Girl
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#6
itachiforlyf wrote:
wickcityshinobi wrote:
failz:blink :push :oh :sick
that wasn't very nice. why would you say that? if you can say something fails, be ready to justify why.

anyway, it's great as always, and also just as depressing as always.

Odd how I clearly state to constructively comment and/or criticize yet people rate and/or do the complete opposite, how horrid...

Anyways, thank you Jiji.
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:02
40_Glocc
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#7
Tell me who is one with pure heart
---untarnished by sorrow---let them be the one
to judge me for they believe they’re God <-------------------I love that part
I wanna make something like that for my gf, can you help me?
2ey81ur.jpg
Rest in peace, Al Davis. 1929-2011~
Why am I the only one that can see you.?
You'll find out. I don't know when but,
you will...
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:03
wickcityshinobi
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#8
kismie124 wrote:
wickcityshinobi wrote:
failz:blink :push :oh :sick

This is a person who really fails

10.0

Nice job Ari*
kismie124 failz
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:04
Shino*Girl
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#9
40_Glocc wrote:
Tell me who is one with pure heart
---untarnished by sorrow---let them be the one
to judge me for they believe they’re God <-------------------I love that part
I wanna make something like that for my gf, can you help me?

Sure hun.

@ Kismie - Thank you.
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:05
itachiforlyf
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#10
wickcityshinobi wrote:
kismie124 wrote:
wickcityshinobi wrote:
failz:blink :push :oh :sick

This is a person who really fails

10.0

Nice job Ari*
kismie124 failz
there is no reason to be on this topic if you insist on spamming things that don't either help the poet, ari, or have anything to do with the thread. and 40_glocc, i'll be willing to help as well.
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:07
zTinGer
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#11
Lolz. :noworry
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La Traicion es Mala ... Pero La Venganza es mas Que Valida
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:08
40_Glocc
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#12
Shino*Girl wrote:
40_Glocc wrote:
Tell me who is one with pure heart
---untarnished by sorrow---let them be the one
to judge me for they believe they’re God <-------------------I love that part
I wanna make something like that for my gf, can you help me?

Sure hun.

@ Kismie - Thank you.
Yay, thank you, Ari.

@itachiforlyf:Thank you too.
2ey81ur.jpg
Rest in peace, Al Davis. 1929-2011~
Why am I the only one that can see you.?
You'll find out. I don't know when but,
you will...
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:10
Avion
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#13
I wish i could write 10/10 poems:huh
  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:11
IceColdKiller
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#14
8/10 very good and dark at the same time :smile
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  Posted on March 8, 2010 03:12
itachiforlyf
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#15
Avion wrote:
I wish i could write 10/10 poems:huh
anyone who can feel and think can write. if you wan't help learning, i may be able to guide you.