Coco-kuns poem.


 Topic: Coco-kuns poem.
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  Posted on February 12, 2010 17:41
nimetz
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#1
Forever My Heart.
~

"This heart, this feeling.
It calls for only one.
Aching when your gone,
loving from afar.
My thoughts never stop showing me,
this image of her shining beauty.
Holding her arms,
forever holding my heart.
She calls to, my heart,
as meant to be the part of her,
without ajar, giving in content.
It means something,
that beauty I hear.
Calling out for love,
as she ever draws near.
My heart in content,
beyond consent,
holding itself forever contempt.
It waits for her, my heart,
within this repent.
I yearn for it,
my hearts desire.
The one who calls,
forever in reach.
I come to her,
this shine, this angel,
giving my all, my heart, my love."


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I made this poem for the most important person in my life. She means the world to me and I love her with all my heart. <333333 You all know her as Blondie12321. <3333333
~

Please give constructive criticism and do not rate it.
One Day, Three Autumns.


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  Posted on February 12, 2010 17:44
sauke1616
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#2
Awww, what a lovable poem.

EDIT: Iam sure she will like it. :smile
  Posted on February 12, 2010 17:49
nimetz
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#3
sauke1616 wrote:
Awww, what a lovable poem.

10/10.
Thank you. <3 She doesn't know I write it yet, so I hope she'll like it.
One Day, Three Autumns.


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  Posted on February 12, 2010 18:15
UltraFlamez
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#4
Go Colin Great Poem!
Hope Cary likes it.
I love the last 3 lines.
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  Posted on February 12, 2010 18:23
Coolidger
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#5
Sweet poem Colin.
Now for my critism. :smile

Alot of repeating and simple words. Switch up the vocabulary to keep it from sounding too repetitive.
It's slightly cliche. Lots of love poems are though, tye are the easiest to write, yet the most difficult to write extremely well.
6.5/10, work on the minor details. o.o
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  Posted on February 12, 2010 18:25
nimetz
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#6
I like the last three lines too, Eric.
~

I'll keep that in mind Alex. Thank you. <3
~

And people, stop rating it. o.o Topic even says "'do not rate it." D=
One Day, Three Autumns.


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  Posted on February 13, 2010 02:58
blondie12321
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#7
Awwwwwwwwws........ :embarressed

~Blushes bright red and passes out~ :embarressed
Words just can't express how much I loved that..... I ish totally at a loss of words....... I loves you so very very very much Colin. :embarressed
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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^i ripped that sig o.o
  Posted on March 12, 2010 10:04
Whitney
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#8
That's so sweet. It's very good too, I'm not surprised Blondie loved it so much <3 I would have too, hehe.
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My angel, my goddess and always my perfection.I love you with all my heart as I know you love me.
Forever and always. Thank you. I'm sure you know many reasons for my thanks. Love, Michael. aka Moo.

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  Posted on March 12, 2010 23:02
experiment18
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#9
wow, its amazing!!
Hoppy<3
  Posted on March 21, 2010 23:43
blondie12321
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#10
Whitney wrote:
That's so sweet. It's very good too, I'm not surprised Blondie loved it so much <3 I would have too, hehe.

I totally loved it <333333
ish glad other ppl likes it too cause ish the sweetest thing every <33333
2rhrxuo.jpg
^i ripped that sig o.o
  Posted on March 22, 2010 00:37
Narutohurricane
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#11
thats very nice nimzy:amused
  Posted on March 22, 2010 00:39
blondie12321
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#12
Narutohurricane wrote:
thats very nice nimzy:amused

i agree <3
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^i ripped that sig o.o