Coco-kuns poem.

nimetz Rank: moderator Forum Rank: ANBU Posts: 5432 Joined on: April 13, 2009

#1 Forever My Heart. ~ "This heart, this feeling. It calls for only one. Aching when your gone, loving from afar. My thoughts never stop showing me, this image of her shining beauty. Holding her arms, forever holding my heart. She calls to, my heart, as meant to be the part of her, without ajar, giving in content. It means something, that beauty I hear. Calling out for love, as she ever draws near. My heart in content, beyond consent, holding itself forever contempt. It waits for her, my heart, within this repent. I yearn for it, my hearts desire. The one who calls, forever in reach. I come to her, this shine, this angel, giving my all, my heart, my love." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I made this poem for the most important person in my life. She means the world to me and I love her with all my heart. <333333 You all know her as Blondie12321. <3333333 ~ Please give constructive criticism and do not rate it. One Day, Three Autumns. Avacase. 23rd Entity Productions.

sauke1616 Rank: member Forum Rank: Akatsuki Posts: 10871 Joined on: January 27, 2007

#2 Awww, what a lovable poem. EDIT: Iam sure she will like it. ~ Magna Shiya - YouTube Page - PSN: Tekiable ~

nimetz Rank: moderator Forum Rank: ANBU Posts: 5432 Joined on: April 13, 2009

#3 sauke1616 wrote: Awww, what a lovable poem. 10/10. Thank you. <3 She doesn't know I write it yet, so I hope she'll like it. One Day, Three Autumns. Avacase. 23rd Entity Productions.

UltraFlamez Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4970 Joined on: November 6, 2009

#4 Go Colin Great Poem! Hope Cary likes it. I love the last 3 lines. ~Signature Made By Yours Truly, Avy Made I Don't Know. Summer 2011

Coolidger Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2391 Joined on: August 17, 2006

#5 Sweet poem Colin. Now for my critism. Alot of repeating and simple words. Switch up the vocabulary to keep it from sounding too repetitive. It's slightly cliche. Lots of love poems are though, tye are the easiest to write, yet the most difficult to write extremely well. 6.5/10, work on the minor details. o.o ~Retired This man will be missed! <3 ~ Nimetz Alex is mine! Get back, woman!~Dassyyyy I love you ~ Dimmy

nimetz Rank: moderator Forum Rank: ANBU Posts: 5432 Joined on: April 13, 2009

#6 I like the last three lines too, Eric. ~ I'll keep that in mind Alex. Thank you. <3 ~ And people, stop rating it. o.o Topic even says "'do not rate it." D= One Day, Three Autumns. Avacase. 23rd Entity Productions.

blondie12321 Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4517 Joined on: July 10, 2008

#7 Awwwwwwwwws........ ~Blushes bright red and passes out~ Words just can't express how much I loved that..... I ish totally at a loss of words....... I loves you so very very very much Colin. <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 ^i ripped that sig o.o

Whitney Rank: member Forum Rank: Akatsuki Posts: 8699 Joined on: September 26, 2007

#8 That's so sweet. It's very good too, I'm not surprised Blondie loved it so much <3 I would have too, hehe. || Dassy and I || <3 <3 <3 || Die and I <3 || My angel, my goddess and always my perfection.I love you with all my heart as I know you love me. Forever and always. Thank you. I'm sure you know many reasons for my thanks. Love, Michael. aka Moo. || Avatar/Icon showcase/shop || Mikey and I || Aya and I ||

experiment18 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1701 Joined on: July 15, 2008

#9 wow, its amazing!! Hoppy<3

blondie12321 Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4517 Joined on: July 10, 2008

#10 Whitney wrote: That's so sweet. It's very good too, I'm not surprised Blondie loved it so much <3 I would have too, hehe. I totally loved it <333333 ish glad other ppl likes it too cause ish the sweetest thing every <33333 ^i ripped that sig o.o

Narutohurricane Rank: member Forum Rank: Chuunin Posts: 345 Joined on: December 12, 2006

#11 thats very nice nimzy:amused Forum RulesRetired Farewell

blondie12321 Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4517 Joined on: July 10, 2008

#12 Narutohurricane wrote: thats very nice nimzy:amused i agree <3 ^i ripped that sig o.o

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