What You Claimed to Be-Poem

Sakura-Chan-Ship Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1580 Joined on: September 5, 2008

#1 -sigh- Just now my program closed and my poem was lost. This is not as good as the one that I had planned before but I still hope you enjoy reading it. Leave constructive critizism and not just a number/rating. Thank you. What You Claimed to Be Looking into your pityful eyes, Seeing nothing more than lies. The friend you once have claimed to be, Has turned negatively towards me. Walking alone through the school, Your simpathetic friends use you as a tool. As you crawl towards us, Pleading "Take away my lust". Lust of friendship and forgiveness, Saying "With you we have no more business". Leaving you forever behind, As your actions rewind in your mind.

jun-ongbaksu Rank: member Forum Rank: Special Jounin Posts: 882 Joined on: May 26, 2008

#2 rhymings ok...but its mostly the feeling behind the words that get me.. nice poem... ~sigless simplicity~

megamanlabib Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2469 Joined on: January 19, 2009

#3 9. Way better than the last one. (The one on S-b) �//T u t o r i a l s~ [ X ] [ X ] �//E g y p t i a n � Set by me!

Yldy Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1579 Joined on: July 16, 2008

#4 Very nice Nana,again. o-o Just "Pleading "Take away my lust". Lust of friendship and forgiveness, Saying "With you we have no more business" Doesn't fit very well,you should say something like "They are saying... " or something like that. o.o' PS:Make happy poems as welllll :c iunno.

byakugan714 Rank: member Forum Rank: Academy Student Posts: 25 Joined on: January 30, 2010

#5 good.. i liked it... the words held powerful meanings

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