Lost_In_The_Haze
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Sannin
Posts: 3510
Joined on:
December 6, 2009
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#1
Let's start:
Waiter/Waitress Jokes
The blond woman serves
- Here you go, the tripe and the pint of beer are here.
- Excuse me, but I did not ask this, a lord celebrating this at the neighbouring table asked it.
- Let them exchange place then quickly.
- Outrageous, what restaurant this! Waiter, brings the complaints book promptly here!
- Yes, sir. Volume commands it?
Waiter, this chicken all bone and leather!
- Does he command his feather possibly?
- Magnate please - the guest speaks to the waiter -, bring for for me a half glass beer!
- I'm sorry, sir, but what half we do not serve our time with glass.
- No? Interesting, because it brought so much when I ordered before.
Waiter, would bring for yet with a portion from that fish?
- With a skill sir, but I would observe that it is a ham!
- Does not interest me for that fish his name, brings it only quickly!
- Fuck, well what kind of waiter you? - the restaurateur is annoyed - a champagne glass broken again already. I hope so this was the last one!
- Not, chief, is from him yet three.
Says it, waiter, what it is looking for under a table? - asks what do after payment the guest in the restaurant.
- I watch whether he did not plop down there the tip.
Policeman Jokes
The policeman stops the motorist.
- I have to punish you because this is an one-way street.
- All right, I pay the punishment, I turn round next.
- It is not possible to be reversed here.
- I shunt then then.
- To shunt neither come in.
- I leave the car here then.
- However here prohibited the parking.
- All right, we talk it over then, how much gets for my car...
A policeman asks the tramp to show his papers:
- He has what kind of educational level?
- Nothing. I am illiterate.
- What is himself?
- Illiterate.
- Let it spell it, please!
A policeman captain arrives into a hotel. The helpful doorkeeper fills in the announcer for him attentively based on an announcement, and onto a signature hands it over. His largest disconcertment, three make a cross instead of the captain, a signature. The doorkeeper is enquiring carefully:
- Excuse me, captain lord, what are these?
- My signature, my name are backs.
- And ahead, above this smaller cross?
- Yeah, well that doctorate of mine.
A policeman is sitting in his car while a madman beats the rear window terribly with a hammer. An other policeman is spent on it and calls out:
- Hey, Józsi! Somebody is beating your car terribly with a hammer!
- What? I do not hear it because somebody is beating my car terribly with a hammer.
soak jokes
- Daddy, when the man is drunk?
- For example if he sees four instead of two men on the other side there.
- But daddy, only a man stands there!
Two pals are drinking beer in the pub, the van of one parks outside before the pub. It is seen that the village's priest goes by a bicycle in that direction just, and looks at the cars. The host of the van speaks up:
- I hope so, the reverend a lord did not notice that I am here, and does not recognise my car!
- Not it doesn't matter? - the other one says it - The Lord sees everything anyway, and knows that we are drinking beer here.
- It all right, but does not tell it to the woman!
The PE teacher asks the alcoholic's brother-in-law to substitute him on one of his clocks. The brother-in-law says a yes, it goes to the children into a school. One of the small children ask him:
- Uncle being a teacher, what kind of gymnastic exercise we shall do now?
- Children! I would ask a short one then... and two long step!
Night the policeman halts the car being in service in the article scallop on the main road.
- Sir, please his managerial permit!
- Here you go.
- Let him get out though now. Breath test.
- Come on says it, safe lord! And at which pub we start it?
A drunk staggers there in the bar to a girl and addresses it:
- Excuse me, madam, i think, you owe me a drink!
- Me? That-what? - the girl asks it being surprised.
- Ugly one dared that I dropped my glass when I caught sight of it.
More coming soon.I'll edit this topic always.
If you have ONLY NEGATIVE COMMENTS,GTFO then!
It was a big effort from me,so if you don't have a positive comment,don't post.
practitioner Jokes
a man goes into the pub . begins to sound:
-the eye of all lawyers rotter!!!!!!
up chin from the counter a big piece of man :
-azonal annuls this now!
-for what uram?ön lawyer?
-not me a garbage I am a rotter!
The lawyer is dying in the hospital, and leafs the Bible desperately just when a friend of his visits it.
- Well what are you doing? -the friend asks it.
By the time it is a lawyer:
- I am searching for legal gaps.
A lawyer and an engineer are on holiday on Bahamas. The lawyer says it:
- Imagine, the my house, burned one caught fire recently everything, but the insurer paid everything, I am from it now here.
The engineer:
- It happened to me, but the flood flooded my house. The insurer paid everything to me.
The lawyer reflects, asks it then:
- This is not bad. But sell it already away, how you did it the flood warning?
On the university legal ending examination the last two students pulled out of the sweat in excess.
- Come on mate! - Calling one of the professor.
- Well mate ... Do you know a lot?
- Well ... Can not think of anything. - Respond to the Nebula.
- Well, mate, then you will not mate.
- Mr. Professor! Be a proposition?
- Let's hear it!
- If you can make up a kind of legal question, and it is not able to answer, enter the five?
- That's outrageous request, 40-year teaching career was not over, but let's see!
- Okay. What is a legitimate one, but it is not legitimate, the legitimate but not legal, and is neither legal nor legitimate?
Spinning, codes, sweat the Professor, but do not know the answer.
- Okay, caught, in the five and get out of here!
- Come, hear what produces the final! - Calls on the last student.
- Professor's ... I do not know that a lot ...
- Well, here we are today? - Forty in the professor.
- Okay ... He heard the question asked by the previous student?
- I heard - is responsible for the student.
- Okay. And you know the answer?
- I know.
- You know? So if you tell with a 2 lent.
- Okay. So the fact that the professor is not it a gentleman's wife of 20 years, the legal but not legitimate. The fact that the wife of the previous student fuck, the legitimate but not legal. And that's why he got five now, and I deuce, neither the legal nor legitimate ...
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Topic: Haze's Jokes.[Non-Racist]
Posted on January 30, 2010 13:54
