TIA_Clan
Rank: member
Forum Rank: Academy Student
Posts: 17
Joined on:
December 7, 2009
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#4

The following statement is true. The previous sentence is false. While you are mulling over that, please real the following biographies about the members of TIA.
Legal Disclaimer: These biographies may have information that is entirely fabricated or manipulated in such a way that the new message is completely unrelated to the original. Do not believe these biographies.
Thank you,
The Management
PS: HAPPY NOW SHIKA???
Leaders
-newhope-
Nh is a pokemon predator. He has admitted to masturbating to pictures of electrode and other pokemon. His xat icon is always the current pokemon that he has been focusing his searches on. NH is also attempting to create pokemon in the real world so he can actually have sex with them. Fortunately for us, NH has no attractions to humans. If he did...OH GOD THAT'D BE HORRIBLE. This fact is obvious because he has no interest in girls, or guys, only pokemon. The only pokemon that has escaped NH's conquest is Espeon. It already has a partner, KP. Thanks to these two, all pokemon have a reason to fear.
Bubblechews
Bubz is Lancelot from Monty Python's Spamalot. This is his theme song (from the actual musical):
Lancelot you might as well just fess up
Really you're a different kind of guy
Move aside your scabbard
For underneath your tabard
There is waiting to escape a butterfly
His...name...is Lancelot
And in tight pants a lot
He likes to dance a lot
You know you do (I do?)
So just say thanks a lot
And try romance, it's hot!
Let's find out who's really you.
His name is Lancelot
He visits France a lot
He likes to dance a lot and dream
No one would ever know
That this outrageous pro
Bats for the other team.
You're a knight who really likes his night life
And by day you really like to play
You can all find him pumping at the gym
At the Camelot Y.M.C.A.!
His name is Lancelot
Just watch him dance a lot
He doesn't care what people say (no way)
For when he starts to dance
Just grab your underpants
He can finally come out and say that he is G.A.Y.M.C.A.
He's Gay!
Wazup
Waz is an asian gangster. He talks like dis and tat because he doesn't know real english. The parody of "I've Got a Feeling," called "I'm a Korean" is actually about Waz, not Kim Jong Ill. As a result of Waz's asianness, he endowed with special powers in exchange for his driving abilities. He is able to see the matrix, and thus rapes at math. He can do highly complex integration problems in his head. The second power he has received is NA Chakra H4X. These rival those of a BR (I BR WIN LOTS YES). Waz is also addicted to waffles. You could easily make him your sex slave (not a gay sex slave, he'll only do this for girls) by giving him waffles.
Co-Leaders
Orochimaru77
He is oro, but he is not oro. Oro watches porn, yet at the same time he doesn't. He exists, yet he doesn't. Oro is a contradiction of himself, yet he is not. Knowing who Orochimaru77 is revolves around these principles. In reality, Oro is the god of TIA. He has given us our powers through the words, "Let there be power!" This is why Oro is worshiped as a deity in TIA. However, a secret group of people, called the Power Rangers, have set out to eliminate Oro, as he has been considered a threat to humanity. His numerous actions as a god have resulted in catastrophes world wide! During a fit of rage, Oro wiped out two entire cities (see Hiroshima and Nagasaki). Even earlier than that, when the city of Carthage raised its arms in anger against him, Oro poured salt over their lands so that nothing would ever grow again. Thus, the Power Rangers have reason to fear. Too bad they all just were thrown off a cliff into shark infested waters while they were under anesthesia. I guess Oro wins.
Captains
Kimimaru4242
Kimimaru4242, or as we call him, Eiji, is a raging hentai addict. He believes that the only girls that he can get are the ones in manga. Thus, he flogs his bishop watching hentai. Without hentai, Eiji would get no action. He is also known for doing absolutely nothing, ever. He complains about everything. Maybe he can have some cheese with that whine (OH HO ITS A PUN BECAUSE HE WHINES AND IT SOUNDS LIKE WINE AND YOU EAT CHEESE WITH WINE). Eiji is also to blame for getting CC into the world of hentai...thanks a lot bitch. Better than cancer porn, I suppose.
Pretzel12
Pretz is the only female member of TIA. As a result, she is the target of many rape attempts by waffles, muffins, and pieces of toast (aka Waz, Waz, and more Waz). She has been raped several times, one of which is depicted in a work of art, which a pretzel representing Pretz and a waffle representing Waz. The waffle eats the pretzel, an obvious reference to Waz eating out Pretz. Poor Pretz lost her innocence thanks to this creepy asian fucker.
Shuuriken
Shu is one of the few non-USA members of TIA. However, if I talked about that for an entire bio you'd want to kill a baby out of boredom. Shu's name is Shuuriken because he couldnt spell the word properly. I'll agree that its a difficult word to spell, but really...two u's? Honestly, Shu. What were you thinking? Shu is also Kisame's number one fan. He is extremely aroused by looking at sharks. Obviously he enjoys watching jaws as well. If he could, Shu would fuck every shark that existed, including the males. He's never been one to shy away from buttsex. This is vividly shown in many of his works of art where he depicts bestiality with sharks and shark on shark sex. Shu...you are damn creepy.
Members
JC3
JC is a walking STD. The amount of sex he gets is far greater than the rest of the clan...combined. Every weekend, he is porking your mom, your grandmother, your sisters, and every other female in your extended family. During the week, since every time he fucks, he breaks them, he is getting blown. No girl is able to not be broken after getting fucked by JC. According to those who have been with him, the sex is like "the most addictive form of heroin." One becomes a slave to JC's penis after it penetrates the vagina. However, as said before, JC has every STD known to man, and several known to monkeys. Fucking him is truly a double edged sword (in your endo).
Kakashi_Pwnzor
Kakashi_pwnzor was seduced by an espeon and became KP. Apparently this is bad because all women and children are to be hidden from him. KP is odd. No one knows what to write about him because he doesn't do anything. I don't know why I'm wasting my time writing about him. He just breathes air that could be better suited for others. One of his former addictions was his love of animal porn! Luckily, he has progressed in his pornographic outlook, and now enjoys watching humans. Thank the god of this Jewish Fat Boy!
Shadowposetion
Shad is one of TIA's strangest members. He likes to PC people this:
"8=======D"
If you are somewhat dumb, I will explain to you what that is. IT IS A PENIS. He pcs you that and if you look, he got you. Its a game for two year olds, much like what Shad is. He's quite obsessed with penises, making one question his sexual orientation. Shad is also the only being to obtain the stage above bankai. This is called trankai. It is apparently so deadly that seeing it vaporizes you. Another thing to know about Shad is his inside joke with Xyber about bankai. No one gets it, but when they see each other they say it and apparently Shad starts laughing his ass off.
TFR
TFR stands for the flaming red. However, we have no clue why he picked this name because his favorite color is green. It also would make sense because his initials, TFG, would stand for the flaming green and the obvious the flaming gay. TFR (G) is the oldest member of TIA. He is also a pedophile. He has been noted to encourage mental sex to minors. If they are under 13, do them in your head. Seriously, people, keep away from TFR (G). He will try to fuck you with a rake. He also is a huge fan of bondage, claiming its very arousing. You know, I might just die writing this, good bye.
Tnaruto
Tnaruto, or Mr. T, has been in TIA since before it was created. Shika, CC, and T have been in TIA or its predecessor clan for longer than any others. Now, to discuss Mr. T. Yes, he is the real Mr. T. He wants you to shut yo mouth (ya foo). He wants me to do the same cause he's that gangsta. If you don't shut up around him, he's silence you, permanently. He'll shoot you with his Mr. T ray gun that will remove your mouth. "Have fun talking after that foo!" will be his comment after he pwns you with it. The only way to regain your mouth is to summon the spirit of Carrot Head and he will cancel out the Mr. T power and will allow you to have a mouth once again...until he leaves...(insert sinister music here)
ZeroAvix
Zero is our favorite emo kid. Thats about it, no one loves him. Ok, that was a joke cause that was actually his old bio from a previous incarnation of TIA. Zero is the ultimate gfxer. He captures humans for experiments...in art! Rather than filming pornos, Zero draws his own, granted they are just still shots. His most famous work is "Still Life of an 18 Year Old Virgin" which depicts a young girl about to lose said virginity. Too bad no one cared about her. She was the subject of most of the remainder of Zero's sex works collection. The only love she got was the hours of masturbation that pubescent teens spent masturbating to the painting. Zero gets a 25 cent royalty for every time someone jacks off to his painting...no wonder he's loaded.
Former TIA Greats
Gaara161
Gaara is forcing me to write his bio first so he's very demanding. He is the drill sergeant type. But not really. Gaara is a very dedicated member of TIA, looking out for every opportunity for tournies and such. In reality, this is all just to glorify his New York style ego. We all really know that the meaning for his name "G" is not just because it's the first letter of Gaara. It is his street name, a name feared by all gang members in NYC. He carries a loaded pistol with him at all times, with each bullet engraved with the letter "G" on them, or something like that. All his victims have a massive "G" engraved into their skin after being shot. Ignoring my rambling, Gaara is a really cool guy with a huge dedication to his clan.
Shikamaru181
Shika has too many prevailing views for an accurate bio to be written. Instead, I will list quotes on Shika.
"Shika is a Pricklicking Douchebag Whorecake Faggotfaced Cocksucking Asscunt." --CommanderColin on shika
"Shikamaru181 is the way of the future."--The computer from Naruto Abridged on shika
"I'm actually a cool dude."--Shikamaru181 on himself
"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!"--angry guy on Shika's quote (above)
"Shika is gayer than Bubz and Waz...combined."--Lorddallas on shika
"WTF NO."--Waz on Ld's quote (above)
"I would blow him anyday."--Bubblechews on shika
"Gayhika."--Z_the_death_god on shika.
"You may not be as gay as him, but damn you're trying!"--professor on gayness speaking to his students about shika
"Gay or homo, there is no straight."--Yoda on being gay.
"He may be as gay as I."--Oscar Wilde on shika.
"Shikamaru181 is gay."--Captain Obvious on shika
CommanderColin
CC is described by the following quotes:
"IM SO FUCKING COOL!"--CommanderColin on himself.
"CC will get laid when pigs fly and Bubz stops being gay."--LordDallas on CC.
"CC, did you ever wonder why you don't have dead skin cells on your bed after you sleep? I collect them and get high off them. Its happy powder."--Xyber4 being strange.
"So at no point did you think that scratching yourself with velcro or a comb was a bad idea?"--Shikamaru181 on the poison ivy on CC's feet
"No, I've done it before with bugbites."--CommanderColin on Shika's quote (above)
"Screened."--Waz on CC's various gay comments.
"CC has AIDS."--Z_The_Death_God on CC
"I watch cancer porn."--CommanderColin on his strange habits
"WTF YOU SICK BASTARD."--Paco on CC's quote (above)
"No CC, not until you lose your virginity can you see this sexiness."--UB on CC wanting to watch a hot video.
"CC, when you have sex for the first time and are about to cum, say 'Scatter, Senbonzakura.'"--Z again on CC.
"All waves rise and become my shield. Lightning, strike and become my blade. Sogyo no Kotawari!"--CommanderColin quoting Ukitake's shikai.
"NERD!!!"--Kakashi_Pwnzor on CC's quote (above)
Lorddallas
LD is the other nikkuh of TIA. He's a raging pedophile who likes any girl from age 5 to age 17. He likes the minors. With his huge physique, he is able to hold his own against police summoned by rape whistles, his prey armed with mace, and...pretty much everyone who stands in the way of his sexual delight. LD is also a distributor of hardcore porn, but no one cares because no one likes his crappy taste in butt ugly women. Polls show that gay porn is more well received by straight males than the porn you buy from this nikkuh. Only one person truly likes this porn, and that person has asked that his name be kept secret as he'd be exiled from life.
Z_The_Death_God
Z is a really cool guy who hates doing anything that takes him away from playing combat arms. For those who don't know, combat arms (or CA) is an assassin training program designed to help those wannabe assassins hone their skills in order to bring chaos to the entire world. Knowing that Z is training to become an assassin answers everything about his character. His n-a name referencing death gods shows that the believes that as an assassin, he will become a god of death, choosing who lives and who dies. Even the nickname "Z" is a perfect codename for an assassin. He also has the same signature as Zorro. He signs a "Z" into the bodies of those he cuts down by sword or by gun.
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