:+: Story: Midnight's Rain- Prologue :+:


 Topic: :+: Story: Midnight's Rain- Prologue :+:
Users reading this topic: There are no members reading this topic.
Poll: Do you like it?
11 vote(s) since December 16, 2009 18:37
Yes (9) (82%)
No (1) (9%)
It's alright (1) (9%)
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:37
Namida_No_Sakura
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Jounin

Posts: 1886
Joined on:
June 10, 2009
#1
Here's a little bit of a chapter of a story I'm writing, it's mostly just a prologue for the rest of the story. No Rates need, just CnC please.

P.S Do not say it is too long and that you won't read it. That will be considered spam.


+++____-=++++_____-=---------=======__________+++++++++-------========_________+++++
“Where am I? Is this a dream?” I screamed out to the shadows but no one answers, it remains silent.

I frantically start turning in circles looking for something, anything that could help me find out where I am but in every direction I look, there’s only darkness.

I can’t see my body and when I feel myself lifting my hand, I can’t see it, only darkness.

It’s cold. So cold and dark. I’m terrified. I feel like it’s becoming darker but my body feels warmer though nothing changes. It’s warm. I’m so tired, I’m so tired …


++++++=__________________-+++++++++++++++++++=____________________-+++++++++


BEEP
BEEP
BEEP

“AHHHH” I screamed as I was suddenly awoken.

‘So it was a dream? It felt so real’ I thought as I started to get ready for school. I quickly brushed my teeth and had a shower before getting dressed in my school uniform. This uniform usually consisted of a black and crimson thigh-length plaid skirt, plain black collared shirt with or without sleeves, a black or midnight red tie (depending on what TYPE of student you were) and black fighting shoes. Student’s that attended this particular school never followed this dress code and instead used it as a guideline. I was no different.

I add to this uniform a black and silver short-spiked necklace with a kunai pendent that doubles as a weapon (what kind of weapon? I‘ll never tell), three black-silver bracelets on each wrist, a black-silver ring with a tiny jade diamond in the centre and 5 inch black high-heals. A habit I picked up from my father apparently. I also wear black spandex shorts instead of a skirt but I don‘t wear a tie.

As I started to walk to school, I thought about all the hard-work I had to do in order to get accepted.

You see Shadow Academy (otherwise known as SA) is no ordinary school, it is a boarding school that homes both humans and ANGELS if need be. That’s what makes SA so prestigious. The fact that it houses Angels and it is also VERY hard to be accepted. It is proved by only having 680 students (a majority being Angels), when SA can board around 6000 student’s. In order to be accepted you must first complete three trials.

In the first trial you’ll have to complete a test of knowledge. This will test how intelligent you are with both human and Angel society, as well as everyday subjects you would learn in a public school. This task would take an average human 9 hours alone to complete only the public subjects but candidates for SA are given 5 hours to complete everything.

On the chance you complete that trial, you will be taken to training area 226 in order to complete a physical exam. In this rocky and dry terrain, you will have to run 200 laps around a 1600 metre field, do 300 push-ups and sit-ups each and do 250 squats while wearing 40 kilograms. You’ll be given 7 hours to complete it all. This trial will test your physical endurance and will also act as a warm-up for the final trial. Very few humans pass this stage.

The final stage of the trials are the most difficult, not only do you have to fight the current P.E/fighting teacher but you have to land three hits on him/her as well. Most of you are probably saying, Three hits? That’s all? Well let me tell you this, the P.E/fighting teacher is usually the best hand-to-hand fighter in the whole school. Not always but usually is. This trial is especially hard for Angels, because they are forbidden from using their powers during this part of the exam. Another factor to include is: You have to land three hits on him/her before they land 15 cuts on you.

I excelled through all three of the trials with ease, even though I was not exactly apart of an Angel bloodline. I bet your wondering who I am. Well, I’ll tell you.

I am the girl with ethereal natural midnight blue hair and deep Lavender eyes that surprisingly don’t clash. I have an hour glass figure that has many males lusting after me and creamy tanned skin that is at every girls envy. I am sinfully gorgeous and I know it, yet I never flaunt it. I am truly beautiful inside and out, or so I am told. I am intelligent and strong at the young age of 17, yet I have shed blood, wept and sweat since the tender age of 3 to achieve this and my goals. I am considered human yet I have unnatural blood flowing through my veins. I am not a descendant of Angel heritage. I am the only child of two outcasts.

My name is simply Setsuke and nothing else.

+++____-=++++_____-=---------=======__________+++++++++-------========_________+++++

♥ I Love You Boo!!! ♥

~ Avatar Made By Kayashi ♥

  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:39
miltam
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Sannin

Posts: 4133
Joined on:
March 23, 2008
#2
Not bad... Can you see mine. If you can, click the link bellow my sig.
»»───knee───►
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:40
Gaara305
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Jounin

Posts: 1957
Joined on:
October 17, 2008
#3
Nice 9.5/10
~Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art.
24mi9mv.png
~All art is an imitation of nature.

  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:41
Uzumaki_Acir
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Sannin

Posts: 3771
Joined on:
August 5, 2007
#4
I like this 8.5/10.
||Sk Thread || Pro Avy By Naruto-Cem :cool ||Genei Ryodan is Forever
uzumakiacirrrrr.png
86031641gk5.gif 22652475cx3.gif
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:41
dragonx3000
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Special Jounin

Posts: 715
Joined on:
September 26, 2008
#5
kl u should become a book writer:smile
Naruto_Signature_by_0_d_a_r_k.png


4000421.png plz click on him
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:49
uzumaki_george
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Special Jounin

Posts: 729
Joined on:
July 17, 2008
#6
this is only my opinion and I know that I won't be ale even to write 3 lines.Nontheless i think I read a lot of books in my life.
the last paragraph was the only one that caught my atention.
But I wasn't impressed by te others.What are the angels and their powers?and I think the name itself sounds to farfetched.
You started really nice but then you throw something like training camp and angels and other.
I think you would do better i you would write something about everyday life and teeenagers, etc. not the fanatasy stuff.
Soryy if you find my opinion rude:embarressed
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:51
Hinata_and_me
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Special Jounin

Posts: 881
Joined on:
March 20, 2009
#7
you used the name I gave you!!!!<3<3<3<3<3
I feal so honored!!! :amazed :amused :embarressed :amused
yin.png Siggy.png
_-*my works...*-_ you better click this foo! psssst, click that--^

Queres casar comigo, amor? :3 -Shinny x3
  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:54
Namida_No_Sakura
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Jounin

Posts: 1886
Joined on:
June 10, 2009
#8
uzumaki_george wrote:
this is only my opinion and I know that I won't be ale even to write 3 lines.Nontheless i think I read a lot of books in my life.
the last paragraph was the only one that caught my atention.
But I wasn't impressed by te others.What are the angels and their powers?and I think the name itself sounds to farfetched.
You started really nice but then you throw something like training camp and angels and other.
I think you would do better i you would write something about everyday life and teeenagers, etc. not the fanatasy stuff.
Soryy if you find my opinion rude:embarressed
Nah it's alright and definitely not offensive. This chapter is just supposed to be a filler chapter. The thing with this is to bring out the difficulty of getting accepted into a school like this one. Teenages and everyday life problems will also come into this in later chapters but so far this is just a base. I have more written but from the POV of someone else which isn't going to be named yet. That part is not quite finished but soon it will.

My writing style will change when I do the POV of the other person as is has to change to suit his personality :amused. Also what name do you think will sound better?

EDIT: @Yin: Yepp:teeth and thank you for the name as well. I looked up the meaning of it and found that it suited my character perfectly.

I also used the name of the academy from my dream that I had lol
♥ I Love You Boo!!! ♥

~ Avatar Made By Kayashi ♥

  Posted on December 16, 2009 18:59
Hinata_and_me
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Special Jounin

Posts: 881
Joined on:
March 20, 2009
#9
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:

EDIT: @Yin: Yepp:teeth and thank you for the name as well. I looked up the meaning of it and found that it suited my character perfectly.

I also used the name of the academy from my dream that I had lol
speaking of dreams, I sended you the meaning of yours, go check it :amused
yin.png Siggy.png
_-*my works...*-_ you better click this foo! psssst, click that--^

Queres casar comigo, amor? :3 -Shinny x3
  Posted on December 16, 2009 19:00
r_starks
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Sannin

Posts: 3286
Joined on:
August 11, 2007
#10
i like this
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
“Where am I? Is this a dream?” I screamed out to the shadows but no one answers, it remains silent.
reminded me of kindom hearts!
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
My name is simply Setsuke and nothing else.


setsuke means fixed current, rapid, or fast moving river, name goes with the story, Good Job

10/10
  Posted on December 16, 2009 19:04
Namida_No_Sakura
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Jounin

Posts: 1886
Joined on:
June 10, 2009
#11
r_starks wrote:
i like this
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
“Where am I? Is this a dream?” I screamed out to the shadows but no one answers, it remains silent.
reminded me of kindom hearts!
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
My name is simply Setsuke and nothing else.


setsuke means fixed current, rapid, or fast moving river, name goes with the story, Good Job

10/10
:amazed It does too. I just noticed that lol

@Yin: Yea I checked my messages :amused

@Everyone: Thank you all so much :teeth
♥ I Love You Boo!!! ♥

~ Avatar Made By Kayashi ♥

  Posted on December 16, 2009 19:07
Hinata_and_me
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Special Jounin

Posts: 881
Joined on:
March 20, 2009
#12
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
r_starks wrote:
i like this
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
“Where am I? Is this a dream?” I screamed out to the shadows but no one answers, it remains silent.
reminded me of kindom hearts!
Namida_No_Sakura wrote:
My name is simply Setsuke and nothing else.


setsuke means fixed current, rapid, or fast moving river, name goes with the story, Good Job

10/10
:amazed It does too. I just noticed that lol

@Yin: Yea I checked my messages :amused

@Everyone: Thank you all so much :teeth
you're welcome :amused
yin.png Siggy.png
_-*my works...*-_ you better click this foo! psssst, click that--^

Queres casar comigo, amor? :3 -Shinny x3
  Posted on December 16, 2009 19:09
UltraFlamez
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Sannin

Posts: 4970
Joined on:
November 6, 2009
#13
Nice story even though its a prolouge, Hope to see more from you.
9/10
:amused
clansignature.png
~Signature Made By Yours Truly, Avy Made I Don't Know. Summer 2011
  Posted on December 17, 2009 05:23
Major_Senju
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Chuunin

Posts: 385
Joined on:
February 28, 2009
#14
- Nice Story
Major_Senju_Sig_1991.png
|| My Altt || Ava by: Itachi4x4(clone) || Sig By: MUDDAKING ||
  Posted on December 18, 2009 14:49
-Yuri-
Rank: member

Forum Rank:
Genin

Posts: 112
Joined on:
December 18, 2009
#15
Wow, you write so well, Nami. I love it. Message me when you update, okay? ^^
x x (Click the second 'x' for YoonA!) YoonA, my idol from Seoul! YoonA-unnie jjang! ????!
Below is a little gift from my donsaeng, don't like the pics la.. T.T (Kamsahamnida, unnie! ^^)

169gj9v.jpg