Ari's short poem.


 Topic: Ari's short poem.
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  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:04
Shino*Girl
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#1
Extremely short free-verse.

-

I should’ve known better than
to search for what was never on this land.
Something about being a villain is wrong.
I, the one who aims to overcome the fantasy
what I could never conceive awaits me.
So, what if I took advantage of you?
You weren’t the one blinded, it was I,
that you trampled with heartlessness.
My pillar withholding ambition is
what is keeping me alive at this moment.
Love is a mere never-land, born in selfishness’s wake.
You doubt what I am saying but, I’m correct.


-

Constructively comment and/or criticize. And indefinitely the message is there.

Ah yes, what I searched for that I shouldn't have was "friendship". I'm sorry if my poem's to hard to analyze and understand. /sarcasm/.
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:05
00SHARINGAN00
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#2
Uhhh................ 6/10.
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:05
OneTailCoda
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#3
Nice I like it!9.1|10:oh
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DEAD.
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:06
Omniweapon
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#4
Not bad \
7.5/10
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  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:06
skullfire98
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#5
9/10 :smile :smile
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:08
Tir
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#6
10/10.

Based on life is what I like.
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:10
mainman
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#7
nice 8/10................................
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  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:10
riku567
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#8
~9/10 Very Nice~
||Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can't carry it with you if you want to survive, the dog days are over||
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Lazy_Genius_13 wrote:
they learned from emir i guess, long anticipation + short satisfaction = addiction
If your love was a giant hand, could I be the penis and let you wrap around me snuggly?
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:13
Coolidger
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#9
Not at all. Easy to understand what your getting at.
6/10
~Retired
This man will be missed! <3 ~ Nimetz
Alex is mine! Get back, woman!~Dassyyyy
I love you ~ Dimmy
  Posted on November 21, 2009 22:28
garrarules1
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#10
It explains life perfectly, another good one. 10/10:amused
"The good times today, are the bad thoughts of tomorrow"
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"We are all witnesses"
R.I.P mom and dad </3
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  Posted on November 21, 2009 23:10
Shino*Girl
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#11
Thanks everyone.
  Posted on November 22, 2009 09:27
experiment18
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#12
ah, great poem again
wondeful!:amused
Hoppy<3
  Posted on June 29, 2010 23:31
crazyaleks
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#13
10.........................................
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You say "Crazy" like it's a bad thing!