gaara's poem

garrafan100000 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2187 Joined on: February 17, 2009

#1 The day the my brother died many friends were by my sides Wishing it didn't come all knew i thought my bro was number one I wish i could of run but i couldnt stop staring i wish all my friends would stop caring. I was gonna run but then brother stuck out a hand out of the graveyard sand and he said your the man of the house now. My Family .:||im da iFunker .:||Half brother |ShopofAmjad||:.GFX RECORD 11-2-1|| lol clicky my latest poem my showcase sendo serekuto chat

sannya1997 Rank: member Forum Rank: Chuunin Posts: 455 Joined on: November 4, 2007

#2 like it.

Trepadora-Two Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2524 Joined on: September 6, 2009

#3 A little short, but depressed. //•T r e p a d o r a ? •Ulquiorra_san & Avy by Akatsunara //• Ugh, Gtfo of my face. iTrepa™ <----Kyuubi rage.

copy_ninja100 Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 5115 Joined on: April 17, 2009

#4 nice peom [url= ][/url] [url= ][/url] RETIRED.

matiasmab21 Rank: member Forum Rank: Akatsuki Posts: 7220 Joined on: November 22, 2008

#5 Nice poem, but be more possitive next time +21.Team.with.Starter.Chars

Unstopable_ Rank: member Forum Rank: Special Jounin Posts: 964 Joined on: November 14, 2009

#6 nice poem:oh 9 Gfx Guide Official team guide Pwnsome Sig made by me(all gfx made by me) N-B Partner:Hidan1234, sasuke-23 Avatar by Uchihaprodigy

Johnny1998 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1404 Joined on: January 26, 2009

#7 nice poem.........how were you inspired to write this? |---Tourneys won:19---|---My Clan---|My Best Ratio Anonymous wrote: Ok, this is ridiculous, I'll have to remember that every time I face you in a tourney, I just quit and run for it Funny Vids Sorry,Dumbledore It's too late, Windows 7 Stuck in a Vlog Rucka Rucka Haiti CounterStrike Fury

garrafan100000 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2187 Joined on: February 17, 2009

#8 Johnny1998 wrote: nice poem.........how were you inspired to write this? idk its just my mother died and my brother in real life but the other stuff came 2 me:oh My Family .:||im da iFunker .:||Half brother |ShopofAmjad||:.GFX RECORD 11-2-1|| lol clicky my latest poem my showcase sendo serekuto chat

Deidara Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 6400 Joined on: September 8, 2008

#9 death....is a paintfull irony.... nice poem (smirk) Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul To a woman so Heartless... [<---click] Fine Art Is The Beauty Of That Single Fleeting Moment Of Explosion... Vlad09N-G wrote: Deidara fok ur a epic pwner

PhineasPhreak Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4320 Joined on: December 4, 2008

#10 I didnt know Gaara of the Sand wrote poems. Thats deep. Im sorry for you. I feel sadness reading such poems. 54 free avatars dump. I gots four MOABs, you jelly?

Johnny1998 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1404 Joined on: January 26, 2009

#11 garrafan100000 wrote: Johnny1998 wrote: nice poem.........how were you inspired to write this? idk its just my mother died and my brother in real life but the other stuff came 2 me:oh Oh, I'm so sorry....hope you have better luck in real life in the future |---Tourneys won:19---|---My Clan---|My Best Ratio Anonymous wrote: Ok, this is ridiculous, I'll have to remember that every time I face you in a tourney, I just quit and run for it Funny Vids Sorry,Dumbledore It's too late, Windows 7 Stuck in a Vlog Rucka Rucka Haiti CounterStrike Fury

miltam Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 4133 Joined on: March 23, 2008

#12 garrafan100000 wrote: Johnny1998 wrote: nice poem.........how were you inspired to write this? idk its just my mother died and my brother in real life but the other stuff came 2 me:oh that's too bad. Beautiful poem though. People who felt pain are stronger. »»───knee───►

K-Man500 Rank: member Forum Rank: Sannin Posts: 3198 Joined on: June 23, 2007

#13 Nice poem

garrafan100000 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 2187 Joined on: February 17, 2009

#14 thank u everyone:oh My Family .:||im da iFunker .:||Half brother |ShopofAmjad||:.GFX RECORD 11-2-1|| lol clicky my latest poem my showcase sendo serekuto chat

Sakura-Chan-Ship Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 1580 Joined on: September 5, 2008

#15 It's a good poem, but I do have some remarks to leave: 1) For everything that rhymes, make a new line and a comma. Like this: I wish I could of run but I couldn't stop staring, I wish all my friends would stop caring. See the change? And afterwards either leave a blank space or keep going. 2) The first line did not rhyme, like all the others of yours did. Maybe change the last word to "side"? Flows better 3) I like the general idea, but you could've added some nice words to it to. At the end maybe saying something like: But he will always be there. He cared. I loved. ,etc. You get the point. Spoiler 6.5/10

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