::Passing On::


 Topic: ::Passing On::
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:45
Purples
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#1
Today, I rise like an eagle
and crash like a plane
burned into ash
then to be commercialized in pain
to be used for profits
to be pawned like a priceless necklace--
though diamonds with no clarity are worthless in my eyes.

So slow to be remembered
but so quick to be washed away--
from the memory backs of mundane people
and, finally--
thrown away into the mist
and as I become a number, some letters, and a name--
I'll be remembered for words that don't mean a thing.
eyes
  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:47
GhostMyth
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#2
Uh...cool? I'm not much of a poetry grader...I'm semi-confused on why people choose a board filled with egotistical morons to "express themselves". I still give it a 10, it has good meaning.
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:47
NarutoFan147
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#3
congrats:oh :oh :oh :oh
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:47
UchihaMadara361
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#4
7/10:cheesy [url= ][/url]
  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:47
xHaru01x
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#5
Nice and meaningful writing, Purples. :embarressed
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:48
Purples
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#6
thanks guys.
eyes
  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:49
sableng
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#7
xHaru01x wrote:
Nice and meaningful writing, Purples. :embarressed

agreed
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:50
RinneganFlash
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#8
That was frigging Great really liked it hopes it's your own, anyways it was great
In Our Darkest Hour, In My Deepest Despair, Will You Still Care? Will You Be There? In My Trials And My Tripulations, Through Our Doubts And Frustrations, In My Violence, In My Turbulence, Through My Fear, And My Confessions, In My Anguish And My Pain, Through My Joy And My Sorrow,In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow I'll Never Let You Part, For You're Always In My Heart.
Michael Jackson 1958-2009 R.I.P Greates Entertainer Of All Time


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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:52
fflightninji
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#9
It is a good poem give it a 8:teeth
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:53
uchihaaaaaaaaaa
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#10
You should change the last line to i'll be remembered for words, words don't mean a thing.

Otherwise spot on:smile
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:55
Purples
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#11
uchihaaaaaaaaaa wrote:
You should change the last line to i'll be remembered for words, words don't mean a thing.

Otherwise spot on:smile

Thanks, but I like my ending better.:smile lol, I seem so selfish.
eyes
  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:55
Desert_Gaara_EX
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#12
10 :embarressed[url= ][/url] [url= ][/url]
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 07:57
uchihaaaaaaaaaa
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#13
Purples wrote:
uchihaaaaaaaaaa wrote:
You should change the last line to i'll be remembered for words, words don't mean a thing.

Otherwise spot on:smile

Thanks, but I like my ending better.:smile lol, I seem so selfish.
I just thought it suited the flow better, i think the way you touched on commercialization was quite subtle yet it brought attention to it well.
The one(fivesome) amigos- Creed, NK, Tess, Lamb and Uchie.
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I am one with Entity.
  Posted on July 4, 2009 08:00
uzumakipro97
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#14
xHaru01x wrote:
Nice and meaningful writing, Purples. :embarressed
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  Posted on July 4, 2009 08:07
Purples
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#15
thanks everyone, I think im getting better:confused
eyes