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Yondaime538 Rank: member Forum Rank: Kage Posts: 4911 Joined on: November 9, 2007

#1 Well Today I went To School and my LA teacher said we had to do a poem on anything and i just finish mine right know so rate and tell me suggestion to make it better Unlicensed Love On a summer's day long, long ago I fell in love and I'll never know Just what it was that made me feel So drawn to her, what the appeal That set my pulses so to race When e'er I gazed upon that face Of one who was scarce but a child Yet even then could drive me wild I'll never know the how's and why's I lost my heart to Hazel Eyes But when I got that long sought kiss I knew I'd found my Perfect Miss My elfin girl from down the lane And I'll never let her go again For how could I describe our love? Romantic love, all hearts and flowers No way to count the days and hours Spent in self-indulgent wishes And thoughts of long awaited kisses Of sweet embraces, tender sighs And gazing into love filled eyes Oh yes, it is that kind of love Or, is it yet the love of passion The ecstasy that knows no ration That shuddering nerve-tingling feeling The climax with your senses reeling The wondrous joy when you discover That sweet surrender to your lover Oh yes, it's that kind of love too. Or even yet a love that grows One that cares and one that knows That sees beyond the outer skin Into the person deep within That loves the spirit and the soul The inner self that makes the whole Built on trust and empathy A love you know was meant to be The love we share is all these things A love that has no need of rings A love you never need to doubt A love I cannot live without A love to last us all our days A love I'll share with you always - Yondaime538- - Goryo Chandra - My Song -

ShoNiSanYodaime Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 861 Joined on: January 16, 2008

#2 nooooooooooo to much words... brains hurt... ouch!!!!

garrarules12 Rank: member Forum Rank: Chuunin Posts: 324 Joined on: June 8, 2008

#3 Really good i would think you were in college Give credit for my awesome Sig and ava made by Grizlist. Part of Shino*Girl Fanclub Runnin around wiff out a care huggin pplz everywhere!!!XD I am BI so u knowz (haves a BF) |:|::.::|:||:.:|::::|.:::::.|::::.|:::::||.::::|::::|:.::::||:::|:.:|:::::::||.::::::|||.::::::|::||.::.:::::||::|:.:.|::|:.:|

Tha_Truth21 Rank: member Forum Rank: Jounin Posts: 899 Joined on: March 8, 2008

#4 tht shit is deep.................. Wings of Light and Dark spread afar she guides us to bliss her gift everlasting Opening it's Eyes the Eagle takes Flight thanx -Reku- 4 tha amazing sig and thanx Blondie12321 4 Tha unique avatar

gaarasgirl151993 Rank: member Forum Rank: Kage Posts: 3866 Joined on: October 21, 2007

#5 ooooooooo dat so sweet i like it 1st tut 2nd tut 3rd tut

Yondaime538 Rank: member Forum Rank: Kage Posts: 4911 Joined on: November 9, 2007

#6 Quote by garrarules12 Really good i would think you were in college No Middle School - Goryo Chandra - My Song -

shikamarurulez6 Rank: member Forum Rank: Special Jounin Posts: 839 Joined on: May 20, 2008

#7 Chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Nice poem Game Recognize Game Clan Site First Render Clan Recruitment Page

Yondaime538 Rank: member Forum Rank: Kage Posts: 4911 Joined on: November 9, 2007

#8 Thanx - Goryo Chandra - My Song -

Takeru89 Rank: member Forum Rank: Kage Posts: 3500 Joined on: June 2, 2007

#9 its prety good althought its structure prety simple but i like the way you settled your rhymes I got to say this poem reminds me more of a song than a poem the first strophe and the rest doesn't fit together for me because after the first strophe you already have made a poem the rest seems to me sweet but after the first strophe not relevant but that could also be some characterictic of your writting style so still nice work n_n

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