untold love (My first story in the romance genre


 Topic: untold love (My first story in the romance genre
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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:04
leaderofakatsuki
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#1
Please deal with me this is my first time doing a short astory like this, wel;l this genre anyways...


One week before sound 4 mission to kidnap sasuke takes place, tayuya sits in a tree playing her flute.
"???: Tayyuya, so this is where you've been hiding."
Tayuya turns her head to see Kabuto walking along the grounds.
"Kabuto: Are you just going to sit there playing that flute? His conditions getting worse you know."
Tayuya sets her flute down before jumping out of the tree facing kabuto.
"Tayuya: Why the hell should I care if his conditions getting worse, what the hell do tou think he means to me?"
Kabuto gave a sinister smile as hi mixed his glasses position on his nose.
"Kabuto: More then your emitting or even trying to hide. But it has little to do to me, you sahould prepare for the mission alonf with the others. Oh also before I forget, if you would like to see him he's in the med lab."
Kabuto turned away walking off from wence he came.
"Tayuya: Damn you kabuto, i dont give a damn abut him... he should just die already"
Tayuya began playing her flute missing note after note until shegot frustrated.
"Tayuya Damn that kabuto..."
Tayuya started of to the med lab, there she saw kim laying face up on a medical table, his face covered by a wet cloth as well as many needles and tubes connected to his body. Tayuya looked at kimimaro then looked away, her eyes slowly closing as she began turning away.
"Kimimaro: Tayuya.... what is it.."
Tayuya stopped in surprised and turned her head still seeing the wet rag still covering his face.
"Tayuya: H..How the hell you know its me?"
"Kimimaro: Kabuto told me to be expecting you... And..."
Tayuya cleched her fist
"Tayuya: Damn that Kabuto...wait and what?"
Kimimaro remained silent. for a moment
"Kimimaro: Are you ready for your mission? Master orochimaru is dying he must have his new container soon."
Tayuya stomped over to Kimimaro.
"Tayuya: Damnit Kimimaro don't change the damn subject, what was you about to say?"

to be continued.. if i feel like it
ima be the one to set it off G until we thru ya
who the f*ck yall punks ganna regulate
at the radio talking bout retaliate talk'n bout my salarie
yall dead as a battery this to you n ya motha f*ck'n army
aint none b*tch bout to harm me n if u do its gone b back and forth
ima hit ya ass with deadly force n f*ck tha source my
enemies vs my warriors with me in our favor we gladiators

  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:05
bauressj
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#2
Short ... damn its like reading a dictionary...
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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:06
spitman56
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#3
8/10 pretty good



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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:08
bauressj
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#4
I only read the first bit but its goog gj 7/10
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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:09
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#5
lol, its a bit short and theres too many spelling errors

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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:10
leaderofakatsuki
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#6
Quote by bauressj
Short ... damn its like reading a dictionary...
lol i know its short i decided to stop writing it i suck at romance stories
ima be the one to set it off G until we thru ya
who the f*ck yall punks ganna regulate
at the radio talking bout retaliate talk'n bout my salarie
yall dead as a battery this to you n ya motha f*ck'n army
aint none b*tch bout to harm me n if u do its gone b back and forth
ima hit ya ass with deadly force n f*ck tha source my
enemies vs my warriors with me in our favor we gladiators

  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:10
zamkxsnj234
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#7
10/10 but wheres part two


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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:11
leaderofakatsuki
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#8
Quote by zamkxsnj234
10/10 but wheres part two
i might work on it later
ima be the one to set it off G until we thru ya
who the f*ck yall punks ganna regulate
at the radio talking bout retaliate talk'n bout my salarie
yall dead as a battery this to you n ya motha f*ck'n army
aint none b*tch bout to harm me n if u do its gone b back and forth
ima hit ya ass with deadly force n f*ck tha source my
enemies vs my warriors with me in our favor we gladiators

  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:12
kappa7
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#9
meh nice work 7/10

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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:15
SasukeLover27
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#10
keeewwwl 7/10. :o
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  Posted on August 22, 2008 13:17
leaderofakatsuki
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#11
thankz yay i havent got a 5 yet
ima be the one to set it off G until we thru ya
who the f*ck yall punks ganna regulate
at the radio talking bout retaliate talk'n bout my salarie
yall dead as a battery this to you n ya motha f*ck'n army
aint none b*tch bout to harm me n if u do its gone b back and forth
ima hit ya ass with deadly force n f*ck tha source my
enemies vs my warriors with me in our favor we gladiators

  Posted on August 24, 2008 05:41
younown
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#12
haha, kimitayuya, this is the first story I read in NB so i'll give it a 7.6/10
  Posted on August 24, 2008 13:35
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#13
4/10 needs way more work..
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