My Baby Girl - Page 4 - Naruto Boards

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Posted on June 13, 2008 03:21

lorddallas
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#46

Good poem reminds me of when my mom died

R.I.P let god be with u

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Posted on June 13, 2008 03:25

emokid15
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#47

im really sorry for ur loss 10/10 on the poem but like i said to u earlier im here for u man

Posted on June 22, 2008 23:56

greywizard
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#48

pretty thoughtfull of u dfa

newayz best of luck to ur familly

Posted on June 23, 2008 00:05

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#49

Thats so sad dfa I'm sorry to hear that

But great poem man

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Posted on June 23, 2008 02:49

chem5
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#50

Fairly good, but watch your syllable count. Your lines range from as low as 8 to as high as 14. Try to keep the count closer and you will get better flow off of it. The wording was fairly good, layout of the scenarios helped create decent visuals, but some of the rhymes were a bit weak. I'd like to see a bit more depth than a lot of "me, be" or "here, dear" style rhymes. Emotional, which is a plus..I would expect as much out of the subject matter..overall not bad. Sorry to hear about the loss and all as well.

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Posted on June 23, 2008 02:51

jackass6200
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#51

touching poem . . i sincerely feel sorry for your loss

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Posted on June 26, 2008 10:52

Aiumy
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#52

awesome

10/10

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Posted on August 1, 2008 23:42

Art_Boy_Deidara
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#53

i love it

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Posted on August 2, 2008 07:55

kelbyat07
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#54

lol nice

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Posted on August 2, 2008 23:00

The_Jokers_Hand
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#55

imreally sorry for ur loss may she rest peacefully

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Posted on August 2, 2008 23:02

alia09
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#56

I loved the poem and am very sorry for your loss.

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Posted on August 3, 2008 20:11

mistersierra*
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#57

... the poem cant be put into numbers its wow... jus wow but it got me thinkin wat would I do if my nephew wasn't here hmm I guess idk I thank god he's still wit me and to your loss i'm sorry but atleast you know she's in a better place